Day 4: Miniature Reformation
Who knew that you could learn so much through one realization? This morning, Heartwork was talking about what they called "The Backwards Kingdom." We were learning about how we as Christians are not supposed to serve ourselves and pursue success the way the world sees it. We are supposed to serve Christ and others, and pursue a higher form of success.
This led me to taking a fresh look at how I define success, and as it turns out, I was wrong. I wasn't defining success in the way the world does (how much money you earn, what level of college degree you have, etc.), which may be why I was able to believe it for so long. My defenition of success came from an audio drama, which I now realize was hinting at the totally wrong philosophy. This drama is not all bad, I think I just misunderstood the point it was stressing. This drama is called Afabel. It is what first installed the fear of the Lord in my young heart, and greatly contributed to my starting to pursue a personal relationship with him. I still believe that it did me so much good, but it is not fully correct.
What Afabel hints at is that we get into heaven on our own merit. It literally measured the success of the characters by how many people they had an impact on for the Kingdom. The one who is highly honored is credited with 5,000 people. The one who gets in, but in a lower spot (almost like a caste system), is credited with 17. The other three characters don't even make it in, for some reason or another. This morning I realized that almost my entire life has been in pursuit of what this drama says, not what the Bible says. My favorite character is rejected for not forgiving someone. Someone else is rejected for pursuing his own interests, for taking "Jaden's" grace for granted. The one who is highly honored opened a charity kitchen and told everyone the Gospel. These things have been subtlely playing on my life for almost a decade. I have shaped my style of living after it. I hadn't started reading the Bible for myself yet, and a lot of it was "backed up" with Bible verses that I was familiar with. So it made sense, and my perfectionist nature went kind of overboard with it. I always forgave people (that part is what shocked me the most the first time), because the story literally threatened me with hell if I didn't.
But now, I'm re-thinking my entire lifestyle. It is good, though, to do so. I don't mind breaking down my "house". After all, it still has a foundation of rock: Jesus Christ, who is my savior and my redeemer. So now I don't have to worry about getting converts in order to somehow earn God's favor. Not even a little. Instead, all I have to do is love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength. This is the same kind of realization that threw the Church into a reformation so many years ago. That is why I call this a "miniature reformation."
I can now say with confidence: I have been saved by grace, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. This, not by my own power, but by the One who empowers me for salvation and sanctification. He guides me on paths of righteousness, and following this wrong philosophy for so long may have been in pursuit of that goal. But now I know that He will always lead me on the path He wants me to take, regardless of what other people do. I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind, and now I am able to test and approve what God's will is. His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
It's interesting, I recently had a mini-reformation of my own. Not for the same reason, but because I was trying to pay God back for loving me. As if his grace was a loan rather than a gift, or that in order to experience his love I had to do more.
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